Friday, 1 February 2013

"It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."

I think you lot have all rubbed off on me, because for this part of Harry Potter, all I could come up with was a whole load of criticisms. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?! (I should add- I have literally never criticised HP before. Except Dobby, obviously, but he's so annoying that I JUST CAN'T HELP IT). But then again, maybe it's just the Chamber of Secrets that has done this to me. Who knows.

Are you ready for bullet points?! Because that's all I've got in me this week guys. You are? Good.

  • How absent has Snape been from these first two books? I had no idea. I think that because of... stuff, he's gained this massively important spot in my brain, that I just want to watch him all the time and see how he reacts to things, but obviously I can't. Which is annoying.
It was pretty freaking awesome when he expelliarmus-ed Lockhart at duelling club though. Oh, Snape...
  • We've already discussed how there seem to be not-that-many students at Hogwarts, so surely they'd basically know everyone in their year? So... why this: "Behind him walked a Slytherin girl, who reminded Harry of a picture he'd seen in Holidays with Hags." WHO KNOWS?!
  • I have to ask, when all these students keep getting Petrified, does Hogwarts notify the parents? It doesn't seem like the lovely Grangers go and sit by Hermione's bedside or anything, so... They just shrug and go 'well, we'll get them sorted out before summer' and leave it? THIS DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT!
  • Also, Hagrid, sending Harry and Ron into the Forbidden Forest (again...) where they really very nearly get eaten by MASSIVE SPIDERS (by the way, I don't even hate spiders, but meeting Aragog's family didn't make me feel very settled... so I can't imagine what that bit is like for someone with arachnophobia. *HUGS if that was you*). I mean, really...

  • Speaking of Hagrid, I have some issues over this whole expulsion thing. Namely that, once Tom Riddle became Voldemort, wouldn't they have been like 'Oh SHIT, sorry Hagrid!' and completely not trust what they were told by the evillest wizard ever? But instead they cart Hagrid off to Azkaban (AZKABAN! That could be an important place later...) and Tom Riddle still has a trophy? I guess Hermione was right when she said that wizards were no good with logic.
  • SPEAKING of Hermoine, way to keep her out of all of the action JK! I really missed her in the second half, and whilst I really didn't have a problem with her realisation that friendship and courage are more important than book learning at the end of the Philosopher's Stone, I DO have a problem with her going 'You solved it! You solved it!' because NO HERMIONE, YOU DID!

Why do you keep doing this JK? WHY?!
  • I haven't seen the movies, but please tell me that it's spectacular when Fawkes flies into the Chamber? It is in my brain, anyway.
  • I always feel very calm when Dumbledore's there, like everything's right with the world, but that might just be because he always turns up after the danger is over. Which is pretty fucking useless of him, actually. But still, I like it when he's there.
  • I... Would have totally taken a rooster into the Chamber with me. But I'm really sensible, so.
One final thing: Basically my favourite comment of last week was when Kayleigh said that Percy's spending all his time in his room meant he was masturbating, and I think I can corroborate that: 
"'I just asked [Ginny] if she'd seen anything odd, and she started to say-'
'Oh- that- that's nothing to do with the Chamber of Secrets' said Percy at once.'"


  1. Corroboration! I have about 10 lame and dirty jokes to make about Percy, masturbation and chambers of secrets but I'm going to be a lady and pretend I'm not giggling maniacally to myself.

    List time!

    1. I never thought about the parents thing - they called the Weasleys when Ginny disappears, so maybe because petrification is reversable they don't advise parents to come? Surely they tell them, because it'd be mental not too....right?

    2. I'm sure Dumbledore says something about Voldemort being such a departure from Head Boy Tom Riddle that most people simply forget that they're one of the same - and if you didn't know it to begin with then you probably wouldn't connect it. Which doesn't really explain why they don't allow Hagrid back to school/unbreak his wand. But it's something.

    3. Spiders are THE WORST THING EVER.

    4. I am well appreciative of your gif selection this week. Thank you!

    1. I was going to say the same thing about #2 - Dumbledore said very few people ever realized that Tom Riddle was actually Voldemort. Poor Hagrid though, being expelled and then later arrested because of stupid Tom Riddle's lies.

    2. 'Chambers of secrets' hahahaah! Don't worry, I've been making jokes to myself about Percy playing with his wand, so... Maaaaan! (that seriously was my favourite thing anyone said last week though!)

      1. I really don't think they tell them! Which is TERRIBLE!
      2. I spose so. I mean, I guess that by the time Tom Riddle was Voldemort, it was too late for Hagrid to go back to school (well, not too late, but he was too old) but... it seems unfair that they won't let him use magic now and stuff. Poor Hagrid!
      3. I don't mind spiders, but yeah... *shudders*
      4. Hahaha, enjoy away ;)

    3. Tom (my boyfriend, not Riddle) made me read a chapter of Harry Potter replacing the word wand for penis. It's crazy how well it fits most of the time. And now I can't read it without seeing wand as bad innuendo!

    4. Oh yeah, I've done that. Only it was wand for wang. DIED LAUGHING.

      It would be amazing if Tom Riddle had made you do it though. Just sayin.

  2. LOL yeah I didn't really think of not notifying the parents. *shrugs*

    Even if Hogwarts only has like 200 students total (and it might be more), it's TOTALLY possible not to know most of the people. The high school I went to only had 250 people or so in it total, and I hardly knew anyone. I think that you tend to stick to your age group/social circle a lot more when you're in school.

    Oh I think Harry said something when they found Hermione's scrap of paper that all the roosters were killed. Or was it Ginny who said it? I don't remember. But it makes sense, you only keep a few roosters around, right? And hens are the ones you have a ton of for eggs and chicken?

    Don't let the chatting get you down Laura! Embrace the geeky (if sometimes a little flawed here and there) HP books!

    1. Yeah, Ginny killed all the roosters. BUT couldn't they have for once told a teacher about the dangerous thing they were going to do, in order to get them to conjure a rooster?? I'm pretty sure in later books they're able to transform inanimate objects into animals.

    2. Hahahaha, well you wouldn't miss Sarah! But still... I'd want to know if it was my kid!

      I totally agree that you wouldn't know ALL the people, but it was my understanding that this girl was in their year, so they'd definitely have classes with her? So they'd know her NAME at least, you know?

      Ginny DID kill all the roosters, and that's fair enough, but YES I agree with Rayna here. I mean, there's NO way I'd go into that chamber without a rooster, is what I'm saying. Although I guess time was of the essence?

      Oh man, I am SO embracing them! I'm just also criticising them in my brain and then feeling mean about it!

  3. I keep thinking of more and more little critiquey things as I'm rereading too. Like you, I blame all the wonderful snarky posts I've been reading, and also the fact that I know full well I'm gonna be writing about it later so I'd better have something to say besides "ALL THE MAGIC IS AWESOME!"

    I just got to the Duelling Club this morning and nearly sprayed my coffee everywhere when Harry kept pointing out how oblivious Lockhart seemed to be to Snape's murderous glares. The moment he flew off the table and hit the wall is possibly the first and last time in the series that I will actually find myself mentally cheering along with the Slytherins and LAUGHING because a teacher got battered. :)

    1. Hahaha, exactly! But I'm fine just pointing out all the awesome things there are, without going 'BUT THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!' Or I was. Now I have succumbed to the dark side.

      Awwww, but but but Lockhart! Damn, I'm actually going to miss him (unlike everyone else, ever).

  4. How is it possible that you've read these books before and not found anything worth criticizing? oh lordy lord! i'm so glad that you're on board with it now, though!

    I'm totally with you, re: Harry's never seeming to know most of the rest of the school. He should at least know everybody in his year because at some point he's had a class with all of them. And because they all live and eat together, there's really no excuse not to know every student, I think. I went to a residential high school and there were about 250 in the school, and we all knew each other at least by name & sight. Puh-leeze. You can't live with somebody day in and day out like that and not know them. Which is another reason why that Harry filter is so annoying.

    I just snorted when I read your comcment about taking a rooster into the chamber with you. If hermione hadn't been petrified she'd have done that. and magically spelled it to crow whenever she wanted it to.

    logic and the wizarding world are kinda like chalk and cheese, then. on SO many levels.

    1. I don't know that I never found anything to criticise so much as I RESISTED doing so as much as possible! OR just that I was so purely enjoying them that I didn't WANT to see anything wrong with them, you know?

      It's really weird. It's like he basically knows Ron and Hermione, and everyone else is just *there* and he doesn't care. Because he's Harry FREAKING Potter and he doesn't have to pay attention to other people! (BUT I LOVE YOU HARRY)

      Hermione SO would have done that! Because she's not an idiot. I wouldn't have gone down there with Lockhart either, OBVIOUSLY because what use is he going to be?!

  5. You've never criticized these books before?!? I mean, I love HP a more-than-healthy amount, but I have MANY complaints about the way Hermione is treated and the forced feeling of the romances. And those are the BIG criticisms, not the nitpicky things. But I'm glad you're joining in now, because searching for inconsistencies is like a magical treasure hunt.


    Also I have watched way too much True Blood because whenever you post an ASkars GIF I hear his voice reading the caption, clear as day.


      There is no such thing as too much True Blood. Truth.

  6. Again with the quote twins! Though I guess we are both picking the most OBVIOUS best quotes of the section.

    I do not believe parents were notified of their kid's petrification. Another point in Dumbledore being very negligent in his role as Dean.

    You'd think also when they realized Riddle = Voldemort that they'd also go "Hey Hagrid, sorry we expelled you. We can put you in a Hogwarts GED program so you can get your wand back" instead of being like "Nope, gone forever, our bad". Unless not many people knew Riddle = Voldie? But Dumbledore knew, and why would he keep that a secret?

    "I always feel very calm when Dumbledore's there" YES AGREED. Even though, as you said, it's prob cos he only shows up after the trouble has been sorted out.

      Dumbledore is totally negligent, but am I going to forgive him because he's freaking Dumbledore? Yes. Yes I am.

      I feel like everyone knew Riddle=Voldy, it's just that they don't really talk about it? But it must be in books and that. So I really don't understand why Hagrid is still this massive outcast. UNLESS they thought that BEFORE he was Voldy he was still ok and actually DID discover the culprit who opened the CoS? And that's why after this book, Hagrid gets to be a teacher and everything? (Is that in PoA or not? I LITERALLY DON'T KNOW)

      It's definitely because he's there once the trouble is over, but you still get the sense that if he HAD been there before, then everything would have been fine and way less perilous? I don't know, he still makes me all calm and happy and stuff :)

    2. Yeah they let him be a teacher in PoA but they should have realized the problem right after they figured out Riddle = Voldie

    3. Yeah, but wizards are stupid. *END OF ALL DISCUSSIONS*

    4. FACT. There was probably also some Giant-ism (Giant Racism?) involved too. Jerks.

    5. OH MY GOD, there totally was giant-ism (?) involved too. POOR HAGRID! (I just read the bit where his new job is announced in PoA and awwwww, it's so cute I could have cried! But did not. But could have.)

  7. Oh my god, they SO should have brought a rooster. Too bad Ginny strangled them all. (Ohhh poor Ginny!)

  8. Ooooh, those are some great gifs! :)

    There should be a public apology made to Hagrid in front of the whole school now. Not that it would make up for the expulsion, but it would at least clear his name. Poor Hagrid.

  9. Yes to what Alley said about the wizarding GED for Hagrid! Can he never fully train as a wizard now, or what? The wizarding world needs to get its shit together.

    I missed Hermione tooooo. Glad to be movin' on to PoA!