Friday, 19 April 2013

"'Let us not deprive Molly any longer of the chance to deplore how thin you are.'"

HOW much cheerier is Half Blood Prince than Order of the Phoenix already? VERY much cheerier. And the thing is, things are actually pretty dire in the wizarding world- the Weasleys (and, you know, everyone) is in mortal peril, Tonks is sad for some reason, it looks like Snape is probably evil, Voldy just can't get enough of that tasty tasty murdering AND Malfoy looks like he's going to be really dangerous now, rather than just annoying.

But still. In spite of all those things, and I think this is really a testament to how incredibly depressing the whole tone of OotP is, things are looking up in Harry's brain, which means that things are looking up for us when we're in there. He's decided that Sirius's death is something he needs to move on from and not just LOSE IT over, and that since he could be dead any day, he'd really better live now, and not just shout at everyone a lot. He's older, he's wiser, he's probably sadder, BUT he's a lot less angry. And I really appreciate that.
From here on out, people!
  • If I ever become Prime Minister (which, you know, is clearly going to happen) and the Minister for Magic DOESN'T appear in my office on my first day? I'm going to be PISSED. And I'll probably quit.
  • Scrimgeour seems like the epitome of a wartime leader, but... I'm kind of scared of him. He's a bit... Severe, isn't he?
That... was literally my thought process throughout this whole book and most of the next one. Seriously, guys, I never liked Snape! Until... I did.
  • Wormtail being Snape's servant must actually be very satisfying for Snape, considering his incredible ability to hold a grudge. I want to say 'poor Wormtail!' but, you know, No.
  • "He has fought his way out of a number of tight corners by a simple combination of sheer luck and more talented friends. He is mediocre to the last degree, though as obnoxious and self-satisfied as his father before him." WOAH BOY, does he have Harry's number?! At least with the first part? A bit?
  • "'If I had sons, I would be glad to give them up to the service of the Dark Lord!'" Yes Bellatrix, dear. Of course you would. Hush now.
  • I greatly enjoy Dumbles coming to pick Harry up (for the first time ever! Such excitement to have a Dumbledore sighting early on!) and everything about his interactions with the Dursleys. It must make him feel preeetty bad about leaving Harry with them though.
  • EHRMERGERD, Voldemort can raise a Zombie Army. Well. That's terrifying.
Like this.
  • Slughorn gets on my tits. I mean, my nerves. He's not coming anywhere near my tits and oh my god, the double entendres are endless. Just... Forget it.
  • So, Molly and Arthur got married last time Voldemort was around? But... How long was he in power? Because Bill is AT LEAST 8 years older than Harry et al, so Voldy was terrorising for 9 years? Or... All the Weasleys except Ron and Ginny were had out of wedlock? SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN!
  • Speaking of marriage... I don't care what anyone says, I think Bill and Fleur are great for each other because they're both just so damn beautiful. GOD, I fancy Bill...
  • "'Dumbledore says people find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right.'" Dumbledore is so wise...
  • I am very into the nostalgia aspect of Hagrid accompanying Harry to Diagon Alley. I am less impressed with Ollivander making wands for the bad people and Florian Fortescue's disappearance.
  • Weasley's Wizard Wheezes is clearly the best ever shop.
  • Romilda Vane is a little turd, and Malfoy is an even bigger one. UGH, people.
And. I know I've read this before, but I genuinely don't know how Harry's going to get out of being stiff as a board (ooer) and invisible on the Hogwarts Express, but I assume it has something to do with Hermione. Because, you know.


  1. "If I ever become Prime Minister (which, you know, is clearly going to happen) and the Minister for Magic DOESN'T appear in my office on my first day? I'm going to be PISSED. And I'll probably quit."

    You should clearly come to Australia and be PM after me because I said in my post that I was going to make this happen for the next person in line. How much awesomeness would exist if we were PMs after one another, OR AT THE SAME TIME, holy shit Austalian/English relations are going to be SWEET.

    According to the Harry Potter wiki, Voldemort was in power/terrorising the neighbourhood from the early 1970s until 1980. So potentially 10-ish years of growing terror. Also of note, his titles have been: prefect, Head Boy, Dark Lord. (I find that ridiculously hilarious)


    1. OH MY GOD! If we were PMs at the same time, we would literally fix the world. We could ALSO get Alice or Alley or someone to be President, and then everything actually would be awesome. I suggest we start work on this IMMEDIATELY!

      Ok, so the Voldemort thing still works. That is OK then. Although fairly irresponsible of the Weasleys to have SEVEN CHILDREN while there's a maniac trying to kill everyone. Fucking hell.


    2. Oh man, if Alice ran for president, her slogan would be, "A tub of hummus in every fridge!"

    3. I would totally vote for someone with that message! Not that I get to vote in US Presidential elections, but ANYWAY!


      Also, re: "fairly irresponsible of the Weasleys to have SEVEN CHILDREN while there's a maniac trying to kill everyone. Fucking hell."

      Yes x100000. Do wizards not have reliable birth control? Or are the Weasleys too poor to afford it? OR are they some kind of fundamentalist magic couple who are building a Weasley Army for Merlin or something?

  2. Bill & Fleur are totally cute. I wasn't annoyed with Fleur in this book when it first came out - instead I was kind of annoyed with Molly and Ginny for hatin on the poor girl just cause she's all gorgeous.

    Also, I find is SO amusing that Voldy uses zombies. How awesome is that.

    1. I KNOW RIGHT?! I think Molly's already shown herself as the kind of mother who isn't going to think anyone is good enough for her boys. So.

      IT'S NOT AWESOME IT'S REALLY SCARY AND GROSS! But kind of awesome too. I guess...

    2. YES THE ZOMBIES. Also, that painting Snape hung in the DADA classroom of the victim of an Inferius, which is basically just a puddle of goo. *shudder*


  3. First of all, I just LOVE that you're using a Glory gif. because she is the bestest villain.

    I think Snape has made Wormtail his servant, but I think that perhaps Voldie sent Wormtail to Snape for two reasons: one is that VOldie doesn't like having Wormtail underfoot because he's so ewwwwww, and the other is that Voldie knows Wormtail would report back to him pronto anything untoward that our potions master is doing because I'm not sure Voldie is 100% convinced that Snape is his man at this point.

    I also felt sorry for Fleur. Hard to marry into a family like that when Molly doesn't like you and you *know* that she doesn't like you.

    Harry has totally succeeded due to sheer luck and more talented friends (though I would argue just the one more talented friend). BUt then Snape gets the rest wrong.

    1. Yessssss! She's evil but she's FABULOUS.

      I definitely definitely thought of the Wormtail as spy thing. Because he's clearly the greatest spy and has no trouble AT ALL informing on people. It's awesome when someone's a double agent because how can you ever know for sure if they're actually on your side or not?! I wonder exactly what Snape did to get Voldy to trust him...

      Poor old Fleur. But I'm sure having Bill will comfort her whenever she thinks about her mother-in-law. It's things like this that made me not really like Molly (but then I read the last book and I was like FUCK YEAH MOLLY!)

      Hahaha, yeah, I'd say that Harry is more talented than Ron... But, I mean, he does have some mad DADA skills, a lot of which he maybe gained through luck and whatnot, but still. He has them now. But Snape still doesn't understand Harry much at all. *sigh*

  4. TONKS STOP BEING SO SAD. Seriously, Tonks, I like you so much. I only want good things for you. *re-writes ending of series*

    1. If you think about it, we reeeeally haven't seen that much of Tonks, and YET we know how awesome she is and want her to be SO HAPPY. That is how much of a good egg she is.

      I... Am not looking forward to the seventh book. AT ALL.

  5. That zombie army is horrifying! I'd forgotten that Voldemort is a straight-up necromancer.

    I also love that Hagrid teamed up with Harry for school-supplies shopping again.

    Think of the Bill and Fleur babies. Really, it's just unfair to the rest of the world.

    1. Stupid Voldy with his stupid dead bodies and his stupid evilness. Necromancer, you say? Why, that reminds me that there wasn't even an Eric Northman gif in this post! DAMMIT.

      Wasn't it awesome? Just a little nostalgia treat :). REMEMBER WHEN THINGS WERE NICE AND YOU COULD STILL GET ICE CREAM IN DIAGON ALLEY?

      Yeah, but think of the boys and girls who get to marry the Bill/Fleur babies. Won't they be happy!

  6. GAH HATCHET-FACE GIF! Do you remember the first time you saw that movie and were like, "WHAT is up with that lady's face? How unfortunate." I still feel that way sometimes.

    I, too, greatly dislike Slughorn. I don't know why Dumbledore wanted him back at Hogwarts so bad, but I'm sure he had his reasons. As he always does.

    1. Yeaaaah, I still pretty much feel that way! I think it's mostly really bad makeup, but also... That's her FACE!!

      He... Yeah, he has reasons. I CAN'T SAY ANYMORE SO DON'T MAKE ME! (I don't know why you would. But you MIGHT!)

    2. Well now we know who NOT to make a secret keeper. ;)

  7. Snape does SO not have Harry's number. It's not that it's false to say Harry's been okay because of luck and Hermione, because he has, BUT he has also been okay because he's brave and nice and thinks fast on his feet. And he put in kind of a lot of work to become good at fending off Dark Wizards. Snape's a jerk.

  8. I do appreciate that Harry has moved on from yelling at everyone all the damn time. I am not so appreciative that it took Sirius's death to teach him this.

    "Wormtail being Snape's servant must actually be very satisfying for Snape, considering his incredible ability to hold a grudge" - ahaha I hadn't thought of this but yes. That really is Snape's best skill. Potions knowledge comes right behind that.

    This is the point where I quit with my past re-readings, so I really can't remember the details in this and the next book, especially how Harry gets out of his current conundrum

  9. The bit about Snape having Harry's number -- I love when he refers to Harry only getting out of tight spots because of "more talented friends", because he's basically admitting that Hermione is super talented. Which, DUH, but he usually ignores how awesome she is and just pretends she's annoying in class with all her correct answers.

    I am on the Bill/Fleur ship, too, don't worry! I think Fleur is pretty awesome (at least, from the end of this book and on), and Bill is just so dreamy... *swoons*