Wednesday 2 March 2016

THE DARK TOWER FILM IS HAPPENING AND I AM EXCITED

Stephen King films and mini-series are notoriously terrible. I can't even tell you how much I want the six hours I spent watching The Stand back, and unless it's made from one of his books that have little-to-no supernatural stuff in it (looking at you, Shawshank, Green Mile, Stand By Me, and Misery) it's not going to be a good movie. I don't blame the source material AT ALL (obviously) but I do feel like, when faced with the supernatural in his books, directors sometimes focus too much on this and overlook the humanity that is always, always there as well.

And yet. I am excited and optimistic about the upcoming Dark Tower movie even though I have no good reason to be, and it's all because of JUST ONE THING:
I feel like I have never properly expressed Idris Elba love here (like I maybe mentioned him when I talked about The Wire?) but it is deep and everlasting. It also grew exponentially when I watched Luther and he was a good guy so I didn't have to feel bad about liking him like I did with The Wire cause he does horrible things. I hate Bond films but I would go and see them about 8 times at the cinema if he was the new Bond and (AND!) he actually seems like he would be genuinely excellent to hang out with in real life, and not just because he's beautiful.
LOOKIT HIM DANCE
So I feel like we know where we're going with this post now. It has now been announced that Idris Elba has been cast as Roland in The Dark Tower film (with, it's worth mentioning, MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY as his nemesis. Like, yesssssssssss let the McConnaissance continue) and I am all over this casting. The article I read about it this morning, more than once, forced Stephen King to relate EXACTLY the EXACT way he had pictured Roland as looking (i.e. forcing him to admit that no, Roland wasn't a black guy when he wrote the books but also saying LIKE THAT MATTERS because Stephen King is the best) and whilst I am *eyeroll emoji forever* over that, mostly I'm just excited.

Because, it's Idris Elba! Being all tough and mysterious and 1,000,000% badass and also will he get naked? Let's hope he gets naked.
Anyway. I have one more Dark Tower book to re-read until I'm done (re-done?) with the series, and you can bet your ass I'm going to be picturing Roland as this glorious man forevermore BECAUSE I CAN. When I saw that this was a news thing, I couldn't think of anyone to specifically tell- I think plenty of people I know think Idris is smoking hot, but none who would understand why this is the perfect juxtaposition of things for me and so YOU GUYS (you lucky, lucky guys) get the full brunt of my excitement.

BUT SERIOUSLY HOW EXCITED ARE YOU, IS IT A LOT?!

6 comments:

  1. I'd heard the Idris Elba rumours before I started reading the Dark Tower books at the end of last year, and so I've kind of had his picture in my head through my reading (I've only read the first two so far.) So YES I'm VERY pleased that it is official now.

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    1. Well that is a DELIGHTFUL picture for you to have had, I'm so glad! KEEP GOING. And think of some more Elba, mmmmm :)

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  2. WAIT! Let's bond over a mutual love of Idris Elba. Because DAMN is that man all kinds of delightful. What this does mean, though, is that I now have to get a wriggle on and get back into the Dark Tower books. I read the first one and then maybe haven't quite got round to picking up the second one yet :|

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    1. OMG let's bond over that indeed. Like how amazing is he? Super amazing, I know. Ahahaha, I know that Dark Tower feeling well- in fact I think I tried to read the first one a couple of times and was very 'eh' about it but then finally got into a rhythm and read all 7 in a month (unemployment, bro). Just think of the beautiful Idris images you'll be able to have when you're reading them!

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  3. I think you have made an EXCELLENT point about why King's supernatural films do not seem to go well. Cos obviously the books are great and there are great King movies, so wtf, directors??

    Also Idris Elba, YES PLEASE. And now when (IT WILL HAPPEN) I read the Dark Tower series, I will get to picture him as Roland and yes, that'll do

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    1. I fully blame the directors! They probably get caught up in the 'ok, so how exactly am I going to do this gross monster thing' thing and don't even think about, y'know, telling the actors to do good acting and stuff.

      Alley, I feel like you've been promising to read The Dark Tower for years. And I love you and I believe you but also, I mean, get on with it! (I've been talking these books up for so long that they aren't going to be any good and you're going to be mad at me, aren't you?)

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